Gap Year Student in Lockdown

As seen in the title you may have noticed that I’m already late; this is my first entry of black Calibri on white paper and the lockdown has only just been lifted. However, I feel this tardiness is a strong reflection of my productivity and proactiveness (or lack of) during this strange period of which many can sympathise with.

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My current situation of being out of work and living back with my parents may also be familiar to many; it happening during the time when you’re meant to be ‘finding yourself’, experiencing new things as you travel the world – from one bed bug infested hostel bunk to another - on your gap year may not be. I am however, as my upcoming articles will discover, certainly still somehow out of my comfort zone despite being in my most familiar and comforting territory of home.

You may be rolling your eyes thinking here’s another Instagram scrolling, Killing Eve obsessed and over-privileged youth complaining about her situation as she’s happily living for free off her parents and still skimping from her best friend’s family Netflix account, and to be honest, you’d be totally correct. I’m lucky to be with my family, to live on a Devonshire farm with space and fresh air, to have healthy food in the fridge and - thank god – a lock on the bathroom door. Yet, like many others this still hasn’t stopped me from feeling useless, a complete waste of space at times, and feeling utterly sorry for myself.

The fact is, I’ve gone from falling in love with French men in £7.50 a night hostels (breakfast included) and lunching on the small samples from the many chained cheese shops in Amsterdam to listening to the hold melody as I wait in the queue for someone at the department for working pensions or Universal credit to answer my phone calls, just to be told that I don’t qualify for either. I’m not used to being unemployed and - as a result of being a money driven individual – also feeling unproductive; I had a job throughout Sixth Form and continued to work full time in an office environment for the first 5 months of my gap year. Both of which have and were going to continue funding my travels; paying the wages of chatty doner kebab shop employees (no chilli sauce extra yogurt please) as well as forking out on my Australian Visa 3 weeks before we couldn’t leave the country.